The $60 Beer

I'm not a big gambler. I'm too logical and methodical, two traits I'm convinced aren't going to help me strike big in Vegas. My logical eye ensures that I play determined not to lose too much (instead of hoping that I might win big). Sitting at a roulette table I consistently spread the minimum bid out across the board, attempting to minimize my losses. My friend Mike is much more impulsive and will randomly decide to place all of his chips on a single number. Does he usually lose more than me? Yes. But I'm sure that one day he'll hit a number, rake in a ton of chips, and live large (at least until he turns around and places his winnings on another long shot bet...). I don't think I'd ever consider gambling a good idea, except that I love the idea of a new adventure. I'll try pretty much anything once.

It was with a little trepidation that I set out to Las Vegas last week. I love a new adventure, but I've been to Vegas a couple times now. Would I still have fun or would unpleasant aspects of the city finally overwhelm the fun I usually have there? It turns out the answer is both. As I mentioned, my goal when gambling is to bleed money as slowly as possible. More specifically, if I can get free drinks from the waitresses faster than I'm losing money, I consider that a net win. The first night out we walked down the strip to a small casino called O'sheas. I'd only been in Vegas for a couple hours at this point and wasn't quite ready to start spending money. Until my eyes hit the "War" table.

War is exactly the card game you might think it is. The dealer gives everyone a card, then reveals the house's card. If your card is higher than the house's card, you win. It's obviously not a thinking man's game. It is, however, my game. You can verify this fact with my sister: I am the unofficial world champion. I was shocked that Vegas even offered this as a game; I'd never heard of it before. Mike was already playing and in less than 10 minutes was up $70 or so.

My confidence was buoyed by Mike's success. If he can win at War, so can I. I sat down next to him and officially started my Vegas vacation. Even better, a cocktail waitress happened to stop by and I ordered my first drink. All I had to now was stay even for a while and everything would be going according to plan. Well... I think you know where this goes from here. In less than 20 minutes I managed to lose my entire stack of chips. Disgusted with my inability to strike big in War, I picked up my beer and left the table. It may have cost me $60 to play War, but at least I got a free beer, right?

It turns out that is a consistent theme Vegas. "Free" is thrown around a lot when it really shouldn't be. The city is a costly experience, in every sense of the world. Physically, emotionally, figuratively, ... the list of adverbs goes on. It doesn't mean you can't have fun there (I did), but you will definitely pay for the experience. In fact, there's probably something wrong with you if don't feel at least some sort of relief as you step on your departing flight, leaving the city of sin behind for good. But more on that later.