How To Speak Like A Tourist

It's been almost a month since I touched down in Madrid, making this by far the longest amount of time I've spent in non-English speaking country. Fortunately, the language barrier hasn't been much of an issue. Sadly it's not because I can speak Spanish (a 100 word vocabulary doesn't get you far these days), but it's because everyone here speaks English. In my three weeks in Barcelona I think I've run into maybe five people who don't speak English.

I was hoping that I'd leave Spain with a slightly better grasp of Spanish, but — for a number of reasons — it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Most obviously, Spanish isn't the primary language of Barelona, Catalan is. So while walking around town, looking at signs and maps, I've ended up picking up bits and pieces of Catalan, not Spanish. In addition, most people will start a conversation in Catalan (which is fair enough, it's their language). But at the first sign of confusion they switch immediately to English, skipping Spanish entirely (and skipping an opportunity for me to learn a little).

An unexpected wrench in my Spanish-speaking plans are all the German tourists. (I've mentioned it before but I'll say it again: the Germans love, love, love to travel. They seem to account for the majority of tourists, no matter where I am. From New Zealand to the Grand Canyon, German tourists are unavoidable. Barcelona is no different. I'm not sure how there are any Germans left in Germany, they all seem to be traveling abroad.) I've had several opportunities to dust off my rusty German skills and bring them out for a few interesting conversations. It's been a lot of fun to rediscover how many German words are still lurking somewhere in the back of my brain, but it's been horrible for my Spanish. My languages wires are a total mess right now.

For example, I was at Vodofone today (where I met one of the five locals who doesn't speak English), adding 5 Euros to my cellphone. After a few confusing minutes we finally agreed on what I wanted to do. "Cuanto cuesta?" he asked, trying to figure out how much money I want to add. Wanting to sound like a local, I switch to foreign language mode and immediately respond with "fünf," German for five. Oops! Right continent, at least... I've also started saying things like "ein mas" instead of "una mas," which is half German and half Spanish.

So I basically speak two languages, English and "everything else." Everything else includes some German, Spanish, and a little Catalan. It leads to some fun sentences but really isn't really all that useful. I just can't wait until I get back to America and continue to speak in "everything else" for a few days.