Airports and Planes

And we have liftoff!

My absolute least favorite part of traveling is ... well the traveling itself. It starts at the airport. The airport could be the most depressing place I know of (a quick review of my most painful memories reveals that no less than three of my top five bad memories involve an airport). On top of that, I'm convinced that the entire system is designed to test our ability to cope with society. Long, slow lines, screaming children and mind boggling "security" laws are enough to mentally destroy even the most patient traveler.

Once airborne, things don't get much better. For those who don't know, I am not entirely comfortable putting my life in the hands of another. Yes, airline pilots are extremely talented and experienced, but that kind of logic is thrown out the window when I'm actually on the plane. The bottom line is that flying is a distinctly non-human trait. If we were supposed to fly we would have been given wings. Blatantly flaunting the air gods like this will not go unpunished forever.

I've flown a lot so I've become better at combating my irrational fear (or at least learning how to appear calm on the outside). But turbulence is still an extremely unpleasant experience. I'm usually okay for a certain amount of turbulence -- like some sort of turbulence meter. When the bumps first start I usually chuckle quietly to myself and think rational thoughts ("It's almost impossible for turbulence to take a plane down! The plane is only moving an inch or so max, that's hardly anything! It should be shaking more than that anyway!"). I also keep myself busy, intently reading the SkyMall magazine or something. But eventually my body starts to realize that the plane is, in fact, bouncing around and things start going down hill. And once the turbulence meter is full I'm officially a mess. I sit still, willing the plane to stop shaking and my heart actually starts pounding a little bit, which of course makes me a little clammy and even more uncomfortable.

Unfortunately for me, the flight from Seattle to Philadelphia was a pretty bumpy trip and I hit "stressed out Colin" at some point over Michigan. This meant I had zero tolerance for bumps on my flight to Madrid (and as an added bonus: bumpy flights while you're over the middle of the Atlantic ocean? No bueno!). So instead of enjoying some shuteye on the way over I spent 11 hours fighting the urge to scream and whimper like a 4 year old child. Good times.

But the flights had plenty of highlights too. The person to my left on the flight from Seattle to Philadelphia was from Spain and spoke no English. Watching her interact with the flight attendants gave me first glimpse into my life in Spain. It was not a pretty picture. :) However, she was able to ask me "Live Seattle?" and one other question that made me realize she knows infinitely more English than I know Spanish. She asked if I spoke Spanish and (after consulting my phrase book to find the word for sister) I responded "Oy hermana habla Espanol." She, unfortunately, didn't really understand me. It turns that "oy" isn't actually a word. It's my gross combination of "soy" ("I am") and "yo" ("I"). Not that "yo" would have been much better: "I sister speak Spanish?" Ugh, it's going an interesting linguistic month.

My second flight started off in a similar fashion. "Hola," the girl next to me said as I sat down. I responded with an hola as well, thinking "oh another flight of pointing at words in my translation book..." She then asked me something in Spanish, while grabbing a big bag and handing it to me. I assumed she asked me to put it up in the overhead compartment (which was correct!) so I said "sí" and put it away. 20 minutes later I was talking to the flight attendant (in English) and my isle-mate asks me afterwards, "Wait you're American?" Turns out she's American as well (we'll Hispanic, living in LA) and we were able to continue the flight in a language that we both understood...

So with that as my Spanish primer I'm now ready for Spain proper. I'm off the plane and I can't express how great it feels to be in Spain. No more planning, no more stressing, going out and doing things!